Emily The Criminal (Aubrey Plaza) is saddled with student debt and locked out of the job market due to a minor criminal record. Desperate for income, she takes a shady gig as a “dummy shopper,” buying goods with stolen credit cards supplied by a handsome and charismatic middleman named Youcef (Theo Rossi). Faced with a series of dead-end job interviews, Emily soon finds herself seduced by the quick cash and illicit thrills of black-market capitalism, and increasingly interested in her mentor Youcef. Together, they hatch a plan to bring their business to the next level in Los Angeles.
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In 2018, after an excruciating day of corrective actions for a non-profit project my team and I were working on, I walked out to my car and was approached by a man who needed my phone. He claimed that he’d lost his mobile and wanted to give it a ring to see if someone answered or if he could hear it close by. And even though his story made no sense whatsoever and his demeanor gave off stalker vibes, in the moment and embarrassed by my initial response to him, I unlocked my phone and dialed the number he gave me. Direct to voicemail. “Thanks, that’s all I needed,” he said. And walked off.
Within 24 hours, every credit card in my wallet was frozen. I was over $50,000 in debt. And there was absolutely nothing I could do about it; banks began calling, and accounts quit working. All the evidence pointed to activity in Miami, but no one I spoke to knew anything.
Further investigation led me down the same rabbit hole in every municipality within 30 miles of the Miami-Dade County Metro area. Living nearby, I foolishly believed I could compel the police to take action. Time after time, I tracked down the most recent purchases, leading me to big-box department stores and equipment manufacturers, purchases that didn’t cause much of a stir at the register.
Police told me this happened to hundreds of people every day. There wasn’t anything they could do. “No jurisdiction in adjacent municipalities,” they said.
In a sense, it was a relief to know I wasn’t the only one; what happened to me probably happened to tens of thousands. Later that week, 60 Minutes even did a special on how thieves can scan the chip in your credit card (in your wallet) while standing nearby. If they have your phone number, even better.
How hackers steal info, credit The Modern Rogue.
Here’s how the scam worked: have someone dial a number, scan for chips in the area, and associate the number of the mark with any bank accounts identified in the scan. The thief now has your phone number and a list of banks you work with. All they need to do is research you (when’s your birthday, your mom’s name, etc.) and call up the banks you are associated with using an app to mask their phone number as yours.
Once they verify your account number, they print dummy credit cards and go to work. It’s brilliant, honestly. The problem is that folks start breaking the rules, buying things that raise red flags, and prompting the account owner to look closely at their statement.
Thankfully, the lowlifes that robbed me broke those rules almost immediately. After putting up a handful of small numbers ($17 at Five Guys, $50 at Dillard’s), they started going big (literally, giant screens were the most common). And they went to the same places repeatedly (though police still refused even to investigate). If a replacement card was sent to Monroe County, the spending happened in Miami-Dade and vice versa. For some reason, police said this technicality prevented them from taking action. They wouldn’t even visit the homes the cards were shipped to.
But those big purchases did activate the banks’ watchdogs, which ultimately led to all of my cards frozen, endless passwords being changed, new phone numbers, and about 40 hours of work to erase my entire financial footprint as it once existed. Tremendous pain in the ass.
Coincidentally, “breaking rules” was the downfall of Emily the Criminal, too.
Emily the Criminal is Aubrey Plaza at her best
I’ve always been a fan of Aubrey Plaza. Since the days of Parks and Rec, the NBC sitcom star hasn’t been as active as her onscreen boyfriend and now mega-star Chris Pratt. While Pratt has helped launch hit franchises like Guardians of the Galaxy, Jurassic World, Legos, and The Avengers, Plaza has spent her time on smaller productions like Dirty Grandpa and Child’s Play, until now. Emily the Criminal is, in my opinion, the proof studios needed that Plaza can carry a movie, superbly.
The down-on-her-luck but won’t-take-shit from anyone, Emily the Criminal, becomes professionally withdrawn from what she believes is an unfair and corrupt system. Indeed, her first test of character is rejecting a creepy employer’s interest and attempting to corner her as dishonest in a cruel game of Sneaks and Snitches.
Despite her triumphant rebuke, Emily the Criminal still has bills to pay. Through a mutual friend, she’s introduced to a well-coordinated band of thieves who assure her that she won’t have to hurt anyone to make $200 in a few minutes, but she “will be breaking the law.”
Her involvement with the gang quickly escalates, and Emily the Criminal finds herself in charge of her own criminal enterprise. However, things turn for the worst when she “breaks the rules” by returning to the same store repeatedly in a short period. When the cabal disowns Emily and her closest ally, she proves again that the rules do not apply to her.
Ultimately, Emily’s story ends a bit more fantastical than I’m prepared to believe. If the bitter-sweet ending is realistic for any of the people who participate in these things, it’s the exception, to be sure.
But what makes Emily the Criminal great is that it’s a perfect fit for Plaza. The gruff, no-nonsense, straight (wo)man on Parks and Rec comes through in Emily the Criminal precisely as you’d expect; “no,” is not an answer.
It’s easy to imagine Plaza maturing just a tad more in her delivery (holding back adolescent chagrin in her defiance) and landing more leading roles in films with powerful female-led narratives (something like Edge of Tomorrow comes to mind).
From my perspective, Emily the Criminal is a sleeper hit, a massive win for Plaza, and a bit of amusement for a guy on the receiving end of Emily’s shenanigans. Well done, Emily the Criminal.